Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) Relationships
21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. (KJV – Submitting one to another in the fear of the Lord).
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
Submitting one to another in the fear of the Lord is the first step of obedience in marriage (Ephs. 5:21). We are all one in Christ as brothers and sisters in the Lord before and after we enter into marriage. There is no place in marriage for domination, being a controller, being abusive, demanding or dictatorship.
The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. That’s sacrificial love. We as the Bride of Christ love Him because He first loved us and showed His love for us by dying on a cross to redeem us to Him. I love and serve God today because of His abundant love, mercy and compassion He bestows on me. God is never abusive and controlling. He gently leads, guides and provides. I cannot resist His loving leadership.
When a husband loves with Christ’s sacrificial love, no godly woman can resist a kind, loving, caring, tender, leader, protector and provider. She will gladly arrange herself under him exclusively. In my seventy years of life, I’ve never witnessed a wife who has a Christ-centered husband walk out of his life or dishonor him in any way. The mutual love and submission to Christ flows right into the marriage relationship as God intended.
Love, honor and respect are earned, not demanded. When a husband is Christ-centered, he leads by example. As Paul said, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”
A Christ-centered husband will not be viewing pornography. If he does, his flesh is his god instead God being his God. You cannot fulfill the lust of the flesh and expect to have a relationship with God. This sin causes anger, conflict and strife within a marriage. John said if a person continues in sin they do not know God and they are of the devil (1 John 3).
God’s secret to a Christ-centered marriage is for both husband and wife to submit to Him first (be Holy Ghost controlled) and then love, honor and respect each other. The Fruit of the Spirit will be overflowing in a godly marriage (Galatians 5).
The reason I write on this subject is because I counsel troubled marriages with problems rooted in the sin of selfishness. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye and the pride of life destroy marriages.
My book: God’s Design for Marriage is an easy blueprint to follow from the Word of God for a marriage to be flooded with love, joy and peace. Order a soft cover through www.carolclemans.org or eBook @ amazon.com. The book is a product of the marriage seminars that I teach for churches.
Teaching God’s anointed Word (for churches & conferences) for spiritual, emotional, relational growth and healing in God is my heartbeat. Having the Holy Ghost for 61 years, teaching Bible for over 50 years, married to ordained minister – Harold Clemans – for 46 years, being a Certified Pastoral Counselor for 24 years gives me a unique foundation for being a conduit to help others grow and heal in God.
I provide confidential nationwide counseling by phone/Skype (636) 448-0121. I post articles on FB: Life Enrichment Ministries, Inc. (501c3), Carol Theobald Clemans, Group: Growing in God Spiritually, Emotionally and Relationally, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Instagram. I write a monthly column for the Perspectives magazine published by Indiana Bible College. Ref: Pastor Daniel Batchelor, Dupo, IL & UPCI MS Supt. David Tipton, Jr., Raymond, MS.