Porn addiction has invaded the church for many years and is NOT being addressed from the pulpit. In my almost 29 years of counseling, the porn addiction issue is continuous with those who seek counseling.
What is deeply troubling to me, the majority of ministry leaders do not know how to deal with porn addiction. Many do not believe the wife if she is the one to break the silence on this destructive issue.
One of the current statistics reported on www.conquerseries.com – 68% of church-going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Ministry leaders, please wake up!
The porn-addicted husband usually has a dual personality. In public, at church, he portrays a godly attitude even doing ministry from the platform. He is totally different at home! He is abusive verbally, emotionally, and physically at times forcing his wife into sex acts that he watches on porn. This is degrading to the depth of the soul!
Porn addiction also creates anger taken out on the wife because the addictor (I’ve created this word) knows he is in sin and wants to blame others for everything. The addictor is usually very controlling. When a wife does expose the porn issue, the husband will say she is a liar and has mental problems.
Jesus said that a man who LOOKS LUSTFULLY at a woman is committing adultery in his heart – Matt. 5:28. Everyone who uses porn looks lustfully! He usually has sex with himself that gives a (damaging to the brain) ‘high’ that is greater than drugs or alcohol! It is the same as physical adultery to God. It is a ‘self-induced’ chemical addiction!
Ministry leaders, please get educated through www.fightthenewdrug.org.
Sexual abuse, sexual assault, addiction to porn are ALL sins that must be dealt with in a godly manner. Church leaders must get educated on all sexual sin issues and teach the saints the ramifications of being involved in these sins. (Study New Testament teachings of Paul on sexual sins – 1 Cor.)
Ministry leaders, please believe the victims! Why would a wife make up a story if she was enjoying a loving, caring, servant-leader husband in the home? Why would she desire to lie and break up a loving marriage?
Almost all the men that pursue my counseling recovery from porn, were introduced to porn between the ages of 8 & 10 years old. Many were sexually abused as a child. They brought porn addiction into the marriage. Some ‘addictors’ become sexual abusers usually to family members or others. They almost always lie and deny any of these issues. Many church leaders believe their lies because of their double-sided personalities.
Proverbs 6:32 – “But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.” (KJV). Sin choices come from the heart. There is no question that porn addiction is the same as physical adultery or fornication.
“Adultery” (GK porneia), i.e., sexual activity or intercourse outside the marriage union. The word pornography comes from the root porneia and thus sexual immorality comprehensively includes taking pleasure in pornographic pictures, films, or writings – Ex 20:14, Mat 5:31-32, Mat 19:9, 1 Cor 5:1) – from Life in the Spirit Study Bible).
The Bible teaches to make no provision for the flesh. It also teaches that our body belongs to God – “we are to glorify God in our body and our spirit which belongs to God.” – 1 Cor. 6:18-20.
When a person has sex with self while viewing or visualizing porn, it is, without doubt, a sin against God and a spouse. I would like to ask the husband who forces his wife to view and act out porn this question – “If you have a daughter, would you want your daughter’s husband to force her to view and act out with porn?” Of course not! If the answer is “yes” – it is coming out of a perverted heart!
Many young men attending church will pursue sex – because of porn addiction (outer sex and inner sex) with a girlfriend. If she is strong enough spiritually and emotionally to refuse, then he bashes her emotionally. All of the above are the sexual sins I counsel continually nationwide.
Porn addiction recovery is possible by genuinely repenting and totally surrendering to God. I am a Certified Sexual Addiction Recovery Facilitator by the American Association of Christian Counselors. Romans 12: 1&2 is the foundation for the recovery process – “be transformed by renewing your mind.”
Church leaders, please become educated on porn addiction. Porn addiction is a ‘silent teacher’ of how to become a spiritual hypocrite!
1 Samuel 16:7 KJV
7 But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
www.carolclemans.org – Call (636)448-0121 – carol@carolclemans.org -nationwide God-based counseling. Ref: Pastor Daniel Batchelor, Dupo, IL. Join: www.patreon.com/carolclemans