The uncharted road of widowhood or widower is different for us all!

I have been on the uncharted road of widowhood for 21 weeks. My hubby went to the Lord at the age of 83 in our 50th year of marriage after struggling with health issues for two years. I counsel people that are walking this road because their spouses died at different ages some instantly, some through illness. Everyone who is experiencing widowhood or being a widower has a unique story.

We all are going through different experiences on this road without our spouses. For me, it is the unknown future of a move that will have to happen. A recent ‘storm’ happened to me by someone else’s decision that directly impacted me. It magnified my human feelings of unsettledness. I choose to trust God one day at a time for my unknown tomorrows. I am living by faith with my nationwide ministry of teaching, counseling, and writing.

Others are facing immediate financial issues, job issues, home care help, etc. I’m living totally alone for the first time in my entire 74 years of life. This can produce a feeling of aloneness that is different than feeling lonely. Aloneness is being physically alone. Lonely is not having friends or relatives.

If I’m lonely, I can make a phone call to family or friends. Most of mine live far away, but we can talk. The aloneness for me is not having a person that loves me and cares about the same intimate issues of life. My godly spouse that I lived with for 50 years is absent from his body and is in the presence of the Lord! I find myself talking out loud to God many times a day.

Since this is my first holiday season without my hubby, I decided I would decorate for Fall and Christmas just for me if no one else sees it. I have gone out to eat by myself. I tell myself, “God is with me and the special memories of my hubby.”

Grief is a different journey for everyone. Grief will never totally leave us. Grief changes its hold on our hearts throughout life. Many people are fearful of grief and do not want to talk about it. What family and friends need to understand is that being able to share feelings about the grief journey is part of the healing process. When we love much, we grieve much. We must learn to weep with those that weep. Times of laughter and rejoicing will come. Please do not squelch the grieving process.

I am thankful for a deep Holy Ghost relationship with God. He promises to never leave me or forsake me. That is His promise not based on my feelings. I read His Word daily for spiritual strength. I journalize in prayer. I pray in words and in the Spirit. PSM 139 tells me that God knows my thoughts before I think them. God knows me better than my hubby did!

Through the daily aloneness, I remind myself that God lives in me ‘the hope of glory’ through the power of the Holy Ghost. I am never totally alone because I am the ‘temple of the Holy Ghost’ – 1 Cor. 6: 19 & 20. I do cry at times. My bottle in heaven must be overflowing. I’m human.

Psalm 68: 19-20a NLT – “Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day He carries us in His arms. Our God is a God who saves!” It is comforting to know that He carries me in His arms – this is God’s truth even when I do not feel like it!

I love sharing God’s Word through nationwide teaching, counseling and life coaching that I do by phone/Facetime/Facebook video/Skype. We can be saved but hurting because of life’s painful experiences. God is the God of all comfort. God came in the flesh as Jesus Christ to pay the death penalty for our sin. He also came to heal the broken in heart and to set the captives free (of toxic thinking) – Isaiah 61. We are transformed by renewing our minds with God’s truth – Romans 12: 1 & 2.

If you are a widow or widower, please give me feedback on your experience of traveling the aloneness road by email – We all need to understand that our God-worth is based on the truth of God being our Creator and He became our Savior. We never lose our value because it comes from God alone! Our value/worth is not based on our status of marriage nor our performance in life.

If you are hurting for any reason, schedule one counseling session. Read ‘about’ page on my website: – Call: (636) 448-0121.

Join my membership site:

SPECIAL NOTE: I can teach for your church through Skype or Zoom.


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About Me

Carol Clemans is a Certified Pastoral Counselor (27 years), Bible conference speaker, Christian Life Coach and author. She provides counseling nationwide by phone/web cam. The mission for Carol’s teaching, counseling and writing is to help others grow and heal spiritually, emotionally and relationally.

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