(Note: I wrote the following and posted it on my FB pages – Life Enrichment Ministries, Inc & Carol Theobald Clemans. It’s a major problem within churches).
Domestic abuse must stop!!! The church cannot remain silent and try to cover-up abuse. Some pastors abuse their wives. Some husbands abuse their wives. A few women abuse their spouse and children. This should not be tolerated by the church system.
When a person who is being abused becomes brave enough to get out and ask for help, please do not try and force the abused person back into the relationship.
The abuser always has two sides to his/her behavior. Around the church they can act spiritual and be kind to everyone else. In the home behind closed doors they act like the devil.
I’ve been officially counseling for 22 years (www.carolclemans.org – (636) 448-0121 – by phone nationwide) and every abuse story was true that I have had to deal with. The church should be a refuge for the hurting and not spiritually abuse someone when they cry out for help.
The abuser is usually very capable of lying and covering up the abuse and blaming the abuse on their spouse. When an abused person walks out of their home and leaves a husband who is a pastor, there is a concrete reason.
I’ve had many pastors’ wives call me for help through the years. They were physically, emotionally and verbally abused. Most of their husbands were addicted to pornography. It’s a scary – life threatening situation.
We are all accountable to God for every thought, feeling and action. Church leaders, please be responsible and deal with an abusive situation in a Godly manner. As leaders, we will all answer to God for how we handle painful emotional issues within the church. Please do not excuse or cover-up wrong behavior or lay the blame on the victim.
The abuser needs to confess their sin of abuse and addiction and receive God-based counseling for healing and restoration to God.
The abused person needs help in healing for their damaged emotions. They have been mentally manipulated for years to succumb to the abuse. They also need God-based counseling to be transformed by renewing their mind with God’s truth.
Abuse by a husband/pastor also causes a damaging distorted-God concept for the abused and the children who witness the abuse. If the spiritual leader of the home/church is the abuser, how can the victims of this abuse have a healthy spiritual connection to God??????
The church system must become a refuge for the hurting. Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. There must be accountability no matter what position the abuser may have or his/her ability to sway people.
God’s command is to “be kind one to another”, not be abusive behind closed doors and only kind in public!
CHURCH LEADERS – let’s become healing helpers in the kingdom of God!
I have YouTube videos regarding STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OR ABUSE – go to YouTube and put in Carol Clemans and view.
© Carol Clemans – July 2014 – www.carolclemans.org – (636) 448-0121