Weekly, I provide God-based counseling for people of all ages with all types of hurtful issues in their lives. I’m constantly hearing about children who make decisions in the pre-teen and teen years that brings them much heartache in body, soul, and spirit.
Duet. 6 commands parents (grandparents) to teach children God’s morals and principles of godly living when we wake up in the morning, walk along the way, sit down and at bedtime. I know by generational example that it works. When a child sees Godly values lived by parents and hear the instruction of God’s Word, there is a much greater plausibility that the child will grow up to honor and obey God as an adult.
We are to use life events to instruct our children in accountability to God in all circumstances. When children are taught about the love of God shown to us by His coming to live in flesh and die on a cross to pay the penalty of our sins, it touches their hearts. Teaching must begin when they are very young. We teach through our example of allowing the Fruit of the Spirit to manifest itself in our words and actions.
Children must be taught how valuable they are to God. They must know that through salvation their body belongs to God and they have been dedicated to reflect God’s glory in ALL that they do.
If parents do not flood the hearts of their children with God’s truth daily, the world will educate them in all selfish sinful actions. Most parents would be shocked in knowing what their children know about sinful actions by their peers as young as eight years old! Especially, if you have children in middle school, take notice, their peers are not Holy Ghost filled and controlled. Their peers are already involved in sexual activity and pressuring everyone else to do the same.
Parents, it is your responsibility to teach your children how to be strong in God and godly beliefs and not to be intimidated by friends who are living ungodly. This means open discussion in the home starting at a young age.
We started our children at 8 – 10 years of age reading Dr. James Dobson’s book, Preparing for Adolescence, which has been updated and available today. It explains from a godly basis the changes in the body when approaching adolescence for both boys and girls. Parents, read it first and then give to your children to read. Empower your children with God’s knowledge that will enable them to fully understand God’s morals and why.
Because we opened godly sex information up at a young age for our children, we maintained openness in this area through their teen and young adult years providing God-based reading information at age level. They became empowered to make the godly decisions.
Parents need to also talk about sexual abuse and explain anyone trying to touch their private parts from the neck to the knees is wrong. Tell children to yell, scream, tell immediately no matter the age or who is doing it. No touch from neck to knees at any time by others!!
Every parent should read and share Joshua Harris’s book, I’ve Kissed Dating Good-bye. No teen should be in an exclusive one-on-one dating relationship. Neither boy nor girl understands or is ready for a life-long commitment as a teen. Allowing this is a prelude to mini emotional divorces; dating – breaking up, dating – breaking up repeatedly. They need to mature emotionally, spiritually, educationally, and financially before committing to dating one person exclusively.
Dating is a pre-curser to marriage. Youth leaders should never encourage dating as teens. Almost every teen couple in church who start dating give in to the sexual tension and become involved in outer sex of some sort. I deal with this in counseling consistently. Our world is sexualized at every level.
Young boys are being exposed on the average at the ages of 8 – 10 years to porn. Fifty to seventy-eight percent of young men and older men who attend church are using porn. Ministry leaders are using porn 50 – 58% in the church. Porn viewing definitely impacts the dating activities of teens. Porn use makes males look at females as sex objects and not as creations of God for His glory!
When we teach our children by word and example that we are to process every thought, feeling and action through God first, we are giving our children the godly tools they need to make godly decisions in all activities and not be afraid to stand strong for sexual purity of heart, soul, mind and body!
The teaching must start in the home and be supported through informative teaching at church by leaders that become equipped in knowing how to share godly application into the very fiber of the youth.
We cannot just shout, “Do not have sex! Do not use porn!” without offering information about the spiritual, emotional and physical damage of sexual activity before marriage. We must teach God’s design for sex within the boundaries of marriage and the sacredness of coming together sexually with God’s approval and the benefits of doing so.
It greatly disturbs me when I see the major emotional gap between parents and their children for lack of knowledge and willingness to be open and honest as parents in all areas of life. Parents, get educated through God’s Word. Become a learner by becoming a reader and then become a leader of your home! Do you want your children in heaven or hell???? Their eternal destiny is greatly influenced by your willingness to teach and live godly principles, morals, and values before the children until they leave your home! What are you teaching?????
© Carol Clemans – March 2017 – Teaching Bible over 50 years, Certified Pastoral Counselor 25 years, Certified Christian Life Coach, Sexual Addiction Recovery Facilitator, parent/grandparent 42 years, Holy Ghost 62 years, married 46 years to Rev. Harold Clemans.
Provide nationwide confidential Bible counseling by phone/Skype (636) 448-0121 for pastors and laypersons.
www.carolclemans.org – read ‘about ministry’ page, 365+ articles, teaching CD’s, DVD’s, book: God’s Design for Marriage soft cover or eBook: amazon.com. Teach for churches/conferences for spiritual, emotional and relational growth including Marriage Seminars, Sexual Purity Seminars for All Ages.
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Ministry ref: Pastor Daniel Batchelor, Dupo, IL.